|Book Review| Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old by Steven Petrow

 |There is something to learn from them and something, as a reader, observe what you should be doing (and shouldn't be following)|

 In late June, as i was browsing several advanced copies, a provoking title suddenly sat in front of me. It was odd, sure. Is it something I should be thinking about? Definitely, when the certain word 'old' keeps on dancing. The jade blue colour on the cover with the peculiar title stretching out, enunciated an intense emotion like a personal angst, a promise that the author wants the whole world to know. At first, I thought it was controversial but then I lingered, "Why should I think this way?" This author has something to say. Something that often doesn't cross our mind but we should be certainly thinking about the question, "Can I accept this?" After much thinking, I tapped on the book. I read the synopsis and instantly, I hit the 'request' button. It said much more than untold. The feeling connected me because in my home, I'm always reminded, "Age is passing by." Keeping this in mind, I hoped, the publisher would approve my request. 

The following morning, I woke up, bleary-eyed and as usual, instinctively, I reached for the phone. As soon as I opened my inbox, I was surprised to find that the memoir I requested, the title I found peculiar — was approved. I was beyond esctatic. I was thrilled. But more than that, I wanted to know what happened with the author which made him pen an explosive title. The moment I opened the book, I shut my internet off. Undistracted, I realized, like the author, the things I never imagined but I was familiar, are something I should be more open and moxie enough to tackle realistic opinions with my loved ones.

Title: Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Genre: Memoir

Author: Steven Petrow

Publisher: Kensington Books Publishing (Citadel Press)

Publication date: June 29, 2021

Where you can buy? Click here

The beginning hooked me immediately. As I read on, Steven makes promises to himself and explains why he thinks his vows are uniformly consistent. The narration is superbly explicit. The flow is fluid which made me instantly connect to his angst, fears and hopes. Each chapter felt like a diary entry to me. It is crafted in such a way that it will make you curious every time you flip the pages. Some important aspects from the chapters will stay with you as you proceed. 
Steven Petrow's Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: A Highly Judgmental, Unapologetically Honest Accounting of All the Things Our Elders Are Doing Wrong is a stirring memoir in which Steven, unabashedly, unfurls his promises to himself that he won't be following like his ailing parents did such as blaming their dog, refusing help, thinking they have the same vigor and all sorts that made them deliberately witness certain consequences. This is not just about them in the book. Steven discusses when it's too soon to be called old. He interweaves his opinions, views and perception about misconceptions boomers and millennials moot. He shares his fears of growing old, the things that won't make him look young enough, the ominous scar that he thought defined his embarassment when he was battling cancer, his confession of tweaking his age on some dating apps, sharing the precious moments with his friends before they died and encoding his father's book which to him, isn't mostly fictional. Steven's biography engages detailed and realistic logical analysis that justifies his explanation of ageism, dependency and necessity of a contingency plan if he ends up single and helpless once he loses his physical strength. These situations invoked him to think when he had to take care of his mother, who suffered from dementia and his professor father, who had neuromuscular disorder. 

I loved reading about his parents, siblings, one of his nieces, friends, mentors, men he dated, his ex-husband, strangers who unexpectedly became a part of his life — they all enthralled me. There is something to learn from them and something, as a reader, observe what you should be doing (and shouldn't be following). They play a huge part in Steven's life. Obviously, because of them and the intense situations, Steven emphasis on trying to face fears without trembling. Sure, things will be daunting and strength will not remain the same, but trying to remain benevelant toward others who may one day take care of you, is a step that one should muster. Also, there were moments Steven had to intervene while taking care of his parents and some moments he controlled his patience while dealing with their stubbornness. But, Steven points out, it's not their fault that they were cranky and frustrated as they aged. It was their illness that made them clamp up inside their aggression as they were losing grip from reality. They hated it. Steven shares his memories with his parents how starkingly different they were when he was a child and how hugely their attitude shifted when things started slipping from their hands.

There is a passage that pulled my attention. In the chapter, I won't be afraid to fall, Steven says he was scared of surfing. At sixty, he gracefully face-planted or fell on his back each time he tried cruising on his surf board. This didn't used to be the case when he was 'thirty something and fearless'. Then, he seeks advice from his twenty-one-year-old niece, Jessie, who exceptionally surfs without hesitation. She says in his book,

"It's not the strength thing," She told me. "You have to be in your own body and have the intuition of knowing when to stand up."

 Steven Petrow has remarkably written this memoir. Funny, sharp, insightful, unapologetic and seriously, thought-provoking, this book sentiments on accepting ageing, truth about diminishing strength, to stay positive when sanity vanishes, new things that would take next stage and importance of loving oneself no matter what others think. This is a must read and a topic that would make you think about your time when you will become old — what would you do then? 

P.S. I voluntarily read and reviewed a digital copy of this book which I recieved from the publisher. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Note, quote or related content used by me from the book may vary in the published version.

Priyanka Patra is a self-published writer of Upon Me. She lives in Odisha, India with her family in a small town. She has done her MBA in Marketing & HR from Birla Global University in Bhubaneswar, Odisha. She is aiming to write more books especially in fiction genre.