Ani Grips The Knife Tight But Not Too Tight |Book review|

 

Shot by Priyanka Patra for Priyanka's Book Gallery

|The one they trust could understand them, is not always the one who may help them|

In 2018, I was browsing books on Flipkart – a shopping site where I used to buy books from. It was a while since my post graduation was over, I hadn’t read much fiction that could make me stay up late at nights. I was missing that part hugely, when I enjoy getting myself in a world where I could live vicariously through some characters who make me feel included. I was searching for that kind of book which would make me rewind that feeling again. And suddenly, i slid down my finger on the ‘black rose’. The insignia was saying three euphemises on my device’s bright screen – dark, obfuscating and a wall that no one knows. Then, my attention fell on the title that totally sparked my interest. I clicked on it, read the blurb and instantly, I grinned, saying to myself, “sold!”

Jessica Knoll’s Luckiest Girl Alive is a psychological drama fiction about twenty-eight-year-old, TifAni FeNalli aka Ani (pronounced as Ah-nee) FeNalli, who is living a larger-than-life with her blue blood fiancée, Luke Harrison and as a thriving successful writer at The Women’s Magazine in New York. She thought her life was perfectly designed in a name that transformed her into a whole new different person. Not the past self, like she is requested to appear in a documentary about Bradley High School where a mass shooting upended her life in Philadelphia. She is promised her lavish wedding will be filmed but at the cost of resurfacing the painful memories that made her cold and heartless? She decides to participate with her class of 2005. But as she recounts her experience, she realises that life shouldn’t have to be full to numb her into someone she is today – for those three persons who robbed her innocence.

Title: Luckiest Girl Alive

Genre: Psychological thriller, Suspense, Fiction

Author: Jessica Knoll

Publisher: Pan

Publication date: May 14, 2015

Where you can buy? Click here

The beginning perplexed me. I couldn’t pick up quickly what was going on. I had to reread and then follow up where I left. The narration is not hard to follow but quite at times can be ambiguous to understand what the character is saying. The flow hits the surface roughly which I found confusing but you may understand where the situations would be taking. The dialogues are dramatic and scandalous. It is gorgeously penned which brings out lots of emotions. Ani’s point of view solely dominates the story. She grips the control tight which made me feel her repressed angst. The other characters are written fair. Their profiles doesn’t diffuse the charm that, completely, didn’t make me sink into them. The plot, however, takes me by surprise when Ani’s suppressed memories floats in bubbles, unveiling a surprising twist . I thought I could delve into this. But, as I read on, I found difficult following the lines mostly. Although, the dialogues are great which made it more interpretive for me. It was easy to understand and I was able to decipher what Ani was trying to say.

My favourite character was Arthur. He is the goody one and nerdy who truly acknowledged TifAni when she was sneered out of Dean’s (the famous soccer player) popular group in Bradley school. He gave space and solace that made TifAni feel safe – temporarily, until he took the dark path. While how I see Ani, she is savagely unapologetic of her prickly judgements about everyone and almost everything around her. I liked her teen self when she was overtly trying to fit in but the cool kids who treated her poorly, is understandable why she went on to become soulless and unsparing. She appears bitchy but remarks all in her head while staging a sweet persona outside.

My favourite scene was Mr. Larson, the young English teacher at Bradley, taking TifAni to his place. The warmth and shelter he provided, even though the soggy pizza slice wasn’t a great appetite, he gave TifAni a safe space when she least expected the traumatic night to turn into after wobbling and searching her way out on the road from Dean. Here’s a passage from the book when Mr. Larson was trying to ease the situation,

“He had stopped at Wawa for a snack, he told me. Then he patted his middle and said, “I’ve been eating too many snacks lately.” He was trying to get me to smile, so I did, politely.

I couldn’t make myself very comport to the story but the theme made me keep going. School shootings are staggeringly real. Sexual assault and bullying are harrowing as a nightmare. This book dispels an expression that not every victim finds an easy way to open up. The one they trust could understand them, is not always the one who may help them like Ani expected Luke to believe her. This fiction is more than just a piece of drama. Author, Jessica Knoll, has done a terrific job bringing out the troubling issues which often we don’t want to think of. She has given a voice in this tragic tale. Moreover, based on her real experience, she instills pain, fear and shock in this book that she underwent when she was gang-raped by three boys at a party and bullied by her classmates at fifteen. I wish i could like this novel — I want to. The message really made me feel many emotions but if it wouldn’t have been so crafty, i would have hugged this fiction in a heartbeat.

Priyanka Patra is a self-published writer of Upon Me. She lives in Odisha, India with her family in a small town. She has done her MBA in Marketing & HR from Birla Global University in Bhubaneswar, Odisha. She is aiming to write more books especially in fiction genre.